


Kindly Calm Me Down

by PlaidHunters



Category: Captain America (Movies), Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Brainwashing, Cognitive Recalibration, Cute, Fluff, M/M, Oral Sex, lots of lead up, sex in the last chapter, unbrainwashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-12 07:55:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7926814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlaidHunters/pseuds/PlaidHunters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of Captain America:The Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes finds himself brainwashed again. On his first mission out as the new Soldier, he finds himself face to face with Clint Barton.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

"Ready to comply." The words rolled off of the soldiers tongue and danced around the empty metal room. It flicked its gaze throughout the bunker, checking its surroundings with careful glances. Shoulders tensing as it took in the scene. Four men stood before the soldier, the one who spoke the words and what seemed to be his body guards. The look they all held portrayed a more anxious look than a body guard should have. They seemed to know that if it were to attack, they would not be able to stop the rampage and destruction. The asset couldn't attack, the words bound it to the master. Every command, every will was on his shoulders, as the earth was on atlas.

  
"excellent." The master spoke, a smile quirking the corner of his mouth. He snapped the black and red leather book closed, a sharp sound that rang around the room. He set the book onto a wooden desk in the middle of the room and picked up a file. The asset eyed it with a carnal hunger.

  
"You can leave now. I can handle it from here." the man waved a hand towards the door in a vague motion. The three others looked to the asset, and then back to the master, concern clouding their eyes. They backed out with a final glance at the assassin, and slid the metal door closed behind them. Silence hung in the air, crisp and thick. The master looked the asset up and down, walking around the wooden chair it sat in. The soldier sat, head down, yes up. Looking past the long dark tendrils of hair that fell in front of his pallid face. His metal arm whirred as he clenched and unclenched his fist with impatience.

  
"Calm yourself." his Russian words clear and calm, "You will receive your mission after I get a good look at you."

  
The master leaned down to get face to face with the asset, and smiled. "Your first mission will be and easy one, we just want to see what you can do first. A test run of sorts." He stood up and took a step back, "Looking at your previous HYDRA files," the soldier flinched at the word. "it seems as though you should have no problem with this." He held out a folder, clean and crisp. It lifted its metal arm and took it, opening to the first page to see the face of the man. His new target, his mission.

  
"I presume you understand everything in the folder. All the details?"

  
"Yes." The response was short and to the point.

  
"Good. Then when you have the mission completed, return here. There is a cellphone in the pocket of your jacket. It has one phone number in it. If anything happens, call." The man turned leaving the soldier to look through the mission, it mission was simple. Find the man, find his schedule, and exterminate him.

  
Mission Location: New York


	2. preview video

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Video made by the wonderful madHATTERo0 on youtube.


	3. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Kate go to a fancy party, (Yay...) and they make an unexpected friend. hooray!

"Ow, ow, ow!" His head was pounding, "Kate!" His voice littered with disdain for the light flooding in through his window. He squinted his eyes to the door, Kate stood, arms crossed, Had she said something?   
"What?" he asked, realizing he couldn't even really hear his own voice. "Shit.." He reached over to his side table, head throbbing, and grabbed his hearing aids.

"Kate? Can you close the blinds?" He whimpered, laying his arm over his eyes dramatically.   
A sigh came from the door way, followed by a monotone, "Sure."  
"Can you also get me some pain medicine please?" He pouted out his lip without removing his arm.  
"Clint, you get hurt every time you go out with the avengers, and your too much in pain to get up because you have a hangover?" She asked suspiciously.  
Clint lifted his arm from his eyes, and peaked out cautiously. the room was a great deal darker, thank god. "But, please?" He whined.  
"Stop challenging Tony to drink-offs! No matter how many times you try, you will never win his iron man suit, hes an alcoholic, a seasoned one at that. You cant win!"  
"But... what if I did? Then i'd have my own Iron Man suit." He rolled onto his side and the room spun, hard. "Kate, Please?"  
"Fine." she said, rolling her eyes and walking out of the room,  
"Hey Kate?" Clint whispered  
"What else could you possibly need?" she barked, "I'm not carrying you to the bathroom."  
"No, Will you..." He put on his best puppy dog eyes, ones that would put Lucky to shame, and turned to Kate, "Will you make breakfast?"  
"No." she turned and slammed the door behind her, the bang reverberating around his skull and nearly cracking it in half.

 

"Well, what kind of party are we talking here?" he asked around a fork full of banana chocolate chip waffles. Who knew there was a waffle place that delivered around here?  
"It's kind of a fancy party, so you'll probably have to buy some nicer clothes." she said pointing to his sweatpants and open threadbare button up. He looked down at himself, "Well obviously I wouldn't wear this to a nice party. I do own suits you know."  
She gave him the look she reserves for when he says something stupid, (Basically every time he opens his mouth.)  
"One without blood on it?" She raised her eyebrow pointedly.   
He frowned, "But... I don't want to go shopping."  
"I'm not forcing you to come with me you know." She said taking another bite of her pancakes.  
"Then who are you going to bring if I don't go?" Clint leaned down with a piece of bacon in hand for Lucky, the dog took it happily and damn near swallowed it whole.   
"I'll Just go by myself, its not that big of a deal." Kate said.  
"That's just embarrassing, your only friend is a thirty two year old Avenger that nobody even remembers," He scoffed. "I'll go with you, when is it?" He asked, picking up his coffee pot and taking a long drink. Who needs cups?  
Kate stood, walking her plate to the kitchen, "Its on Friday, so you have 4 days. Do not" She said poking her head out of the kitchen to point directly at him, "I repeat, DO NOT wait until the last minute to get a new suit!"  
He threw his hands up in defense, "Damn Kate! I wont! I swear!"  
He did anyway.

 

  
The night of the party was upon them, much to Clint's disdain. His suit was tight in weird places and an odd shade of dark blue. Kate on the other hand looked very comfortable, her dress was a cocktail dress in a very pretty shade of lilac. Her hair was curly and down, and her makeup was- whats that word Kate used sometimes? oh yeah, "On Fleek"  
The place was full of pretentious snobs, but hey, you cant beat free food and free alcohol! He stopped a waiter carrying a tray of what seemed to be fancy people pizza rolls. Clint wasn't completely sure what they were, he just knew he needed all of them. Kate gave him a look of disapproval, so sadly, he could only take two.   
He made his way over to Kate, "Why are we here?" he asked in a hushed tone.

  
"Because my dad asked me to come, and you didn't want me to come alone." She said putting her hands on her hips.

  
"Right, I'm going to go look for more food, if you need me, text me." Not that it would be hard to find him, he stuck out like a sore thumb, Kate on the other hand blended in seamlessly.

  
Clint sat at an empty table, looking out at the crowd before him, and also keeping watch for more food. He glanced over the crowd, and spotted the man with the pizza rolls again. A flash caught his attention, and he moved his gaze to the far wall, "the hell was that?" he said to himself. And it happened again, a small flash, a reflection maybe, coming from the air vent. Something was definitely moving in there, He should go check it out. Better safe than sorry.

after searching for about 5 minutes he found an air duct he could reach in the maintenance office. It was perfect, out of sight so he wouldn't get kicked out of Kate's party.  
He pulled himself in as quietly as possible, and made his way through the shafts. After a few lefts, and a few upward slopes, he found what he was looking for. A man was laying flat on his stomach in the shaft, looking out through the vent grate and over the ballroom below. Clint leaned to the left to get a better view of the man, and saw what had been reflecting in the light. The man who lay before him had a metal arm. Natasha had told Clint about this man, said he shot Steve, but then saved him. James Barnes was his name, or better known now as the Winter Soldier. Clint's eyes grew wide and he leaned a bit further to see what the soldier was doing up here, and that's when he saw the silenced sniper rifle. _Fuck._

  
A button on Clint's shirt lightly tapped the side of the air shaft, and in one swift movement, a hand was around Clint's throat. He was now looking directly into the eyes of the man, for a man who was killing him, he was very attractive.

"Hey man" Clint's voice was scratchy and barely audible.

  
"You are not my mission. Leave now or you will be terminated." The voice was monotone and menacing. His eyebrows drew together as Clint spoke again.

"You gotta let go of my- ah," He coughed as the metal arm released him.

"You're Steve's friend ri-" His question was cut short by a swift punch to the throat.

"Jesus bro." His voice was a hoarse rasp.

  
"Termination is what you have chosen." The winter soldier grabbed Clint by the front of his new suit and pulled back is arm readying a punch. Clint pulled a pistol from his pocket and swung it forward aiming for the soldiers shoulder. The soldiers eyes caught sight of the gun and his arm changed course and grabbed Clint's hand that was holding the gun. Using his other hand, Clint grabbed his second pistol and hit him square in the temple. The grasp on his arm loosened and Clint pulled himself away. He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a needle and pressed it into the flesh arm of the groggy man before him. The soldier went completely slack and passed out with a loud thump. He'd have to thank Tony for giving this stuff to him, it was a tranquilizer strong enough to slow the hulk down for a few minutes, and apparently it work extremely well on brainwashed hydra super soldiers.

  
"You good bro?" Clint prodded the unconscious body of the master assassin, "Cool!" Clint said giving a thumbs up and pulled his phone from his pocket and sent a text to Kate.  
To: Hawkeye  
Lets say I need help bringing an unconscious person back to the house.  
He carefully crawled over the body and looked out of the vent for Kate. He spotted her standing and chatting with a group of older couples. She held up a finger and pulled her phone from her clutch bag. She looked at the text and flashed a glance around the room before focusing on her phone again. Clint turned his attention back to the unconscious man. He ran his hands over the mans body, pulling weapons out as he finds them. Halfway done searching the legs, Clint's phone buzzed, a text from Kate. 

To: Hawkeye  
From: Hawkeye  
Clint I swear to god, that is rape, and I will call the cops and sit on our couch and watch you on the next episode of dog cops and eat pizza with Lucky and laugh at you.

  
Clint scoffed, "I'm not that big of a creep." he thought hard about how to explain this to her. 

To: Hawkeye  
Okay, i'm not like that and you know it as well as me. I may have knocked out a Russian super soldier in the vent. We need to take him back to the house, I'm in the third vent from the chandelier. Come meet by the vent in the utility office. I'll bring him as close to it as I can, Love you!

  
He shoved his phone back into his pocket and continued his body search on this man. He wasn't exactly sure he wanted to bring this man back to his house. He had so many weapons on him. But Clint knew that Steve would want his friend back, once Steve was feeling completely better again he would give him a call, he could handle him until then right?

  
He finished searching and looked at the pile of weapons, that was more than even Natasha carried on her. The man also smelled pretty bad, did he not shower or something, He looked to the mans face, it was pretty dirty, and his hair was greasy as all hell. Poor guy, Clint knew how much being brainwashed sucked, sitting in the backseat of your own body. not being able to do what you wanted. he breathed a sigh, and grabbed the man by his wrists and began pulling him down the shafts.

 


	4. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is chapter 1 but From Bucky's perspective instead.

The soldier moved with the grace of a cat from rooftop to rooftop, making its way to the building hosting the charity dinner party. Petty.  
It climbed the building, its metal fingers gripping into the bricks, small pieces of stone tinkling onto the ground below. Once it reached the roof, it double and triple checked its equipment. It never made mistakes, and today would be no exception.

  
It climbed through the air shafts, keeping the metal of its arm from clinging against the aluminum air ducts. It proceeded to make its way to a vantage point to snipe from. One shot through the head and a quick exit. That's all this would be.

  
It waited perfectly still for hours as the swarms of waitstaff and party guests swarmed through the ball room. It scanned the crowd, looking for the face that matched the mission. Hair fell into his face as it moved it's head to get a better view of the bustling groups below. It brought up it's metal arm and pushed the hair away from its eyes. Once more the hair fell into it's vision and it pressed the hair away from it's face. He continued his search of the crowd, faces buzzing around and music filling the room. It's mission had not yet arrived.

  
A small sound of something hitting the floor of the shaft echoed behind it, turning without hesitation, it grabbed the man with it's metal arm around the throat. Not my mission. It thought.

  
"You are not my mission, leave or you will be terminated." It removed it's hand from the man's throat and waited for him to leave, but the man he was still speaking, loudly. It needed to quiet him, using his metal arm it gave a swift punch to the man's throat.

  
"Jesus bro-" Again with the talking.

  
"Termination was your choice." his voice was monotone. It pulled the man in closer by the front of his shirt and pulled it's arm back for a final blow to the face. It's metal arm was forced to change course as a glint from a gun shone in the man's hand. A heavy jarring pain crashed into the side of It's head and it's grip on the man loosened as he watched the vent spin around him. He wasn't really sure where he was, or why he was here. A man sat in front of him, hands outstretched with a syringe at the ready. Who is this guy? Bucky saw the man's hand shoot forward and felt a sharp biting stab in his forearm. The vent started to cloud as the hand holding him up slid from beneath him and the room went black.


	5. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint has to figure out what to do with the murder man he just brought home. (Clint why you so dumb?)

Clint sat in Kate's bedroom, looking at the unconscious pile of murder that lay crumpled on the bed. He ran his hands through his hair, and wiped the sweat from his brow. This guy was heavy, Clint and Kate spent a good hour trying to get him from the car, all the way up to this room. His clothes looked and smelled terrible now, this guy looks like he hasn't showered in at least a week, and he smells like its been two. Chances are this guys been brainwashed for a while, and brainwashed people don't think about normal human necessities, well, at least he hadn't. The last thing anyone would want to do, is wake up from being brainwashed and smell like a garbage can that's been sitting in an oven. Clint went to the hall closet and pulled out a washcloth, he stopped his hand at the knob of the bathroom. He could hear the water running, Kate must be taking a shower, shit. He really wasn't surprised, Kate had been absolutely disgusted with the way their new buddy smelled and quickly disappeared after getting him to the top of the steps.

Clint sighed and made his way down the staircase narrowly avoiding Lucky's tail on the bottom step. The dog jumped up excitedly and trotted to Clint's side as he walked into the kitchen.   
"No Lucky. This isn't for you. its for our guest." The dog tipped his head to the side and whined. Clint sighed and pulled a large bowl from the cupboard and filled it with warm water. On the way back Clint grabbed his rucksack from the kitchen table and slung it over his shoulder.

He stopped at the top of the steps to see Kate standing in the doorway of her room. She crinkled her nose at the sight of her bed, and turned to look at Clint. She held a towel around her body with one hand and pointed into her bedroom with the other.  
"I'm not sleeping in there."  
Clint smiled, he knew better than to think she would, he already planned this out in his head. "I know, I thought maybe we could switch rooms until we get this all under control. My room has a lock, and there's room in my bed for you and Lucky."  
Kate looked at him, shifting her weight uncomfortably. "Are you sure? Where are you going to sleep?"  
"I can bring one of the recliners up from the living room. I sleep on it all the time anyway." She shrugged, "Alright, but if something goes wrong let me know, I can help you with anything you need. This is Steve's friend for sure right?"  
Clint nodded, "Steve's shown me pictures of the two of them, and told me what had happened. There's no way this isn't him. and i mean," he nodded his head towards the room, "He's got a metal arm."  
"That's true." Kate stepped cautiously into her room and Clint followed a few steps behind. Kate rummaged through her closet as Clint set the bowl down on the side table next to the bed. "I'm going to go to sleep now," Kate said, emerging from the closet with a pile of clothes in hand. "Is there anything you need from your room?"  
Clint thought for a moment, once he cleaned this guy up he couldn't just put these nasty clothes back on him.   
"Yeah, could you grab some sweatpants for me and something you think would fit this guy?" he gestured towards the soundly sleeping assassin.   
"No, problem. I'll be back in a few." She stepped out of the room calling for Lucky to come join her in the room.

 

Time to get to work. 

Clint sat on the edge of the bed running the washcloth over the mans face, wiping away dirt and revealing a very attractive man. Goddamn it Clint this guy tried to kill you. He thought. But the thought went whizzing away as he brought the mans shirt over his head, even dirty, this mans body was amazing.   
"Fuck me..." Clint rubbed his face with the back of his hand. Did he always fall for the damsel in distress? he didn't think so. But he just might this time.   
"Um." Kate's voice came from behind him, "Clint, I don't think he can hear you."   
Startled, Clint jumped and dropped the washcloth onto the mans chest. "Well goddamn, you could grate cheese on those abs." Kate said dropping the clothes onto her computer chair and fanning herself with her hand.   
"If there's nothing else you need I'm going to head to bed. I'll leave the two of you alone. Good luck with him." Kate said with a wink.   
Clint felt his face heat as he turned back to his task, "Night Kate." She chucked and he heard her footsteps disappear down the hall. 

Kate was right, this guy had abs of a god, and Clint would know. He couldn't help himself, he pressed a hand over his chest, feeling the scars and soft skin between. He ran his finger over the shoulder where the metal arm was attached. The scar tissue was thick and rough, "Oh wow." That must have been some serious pain. He shook his head, clearing the thought. He returned to work with the washcloth, cleaning every inch of the battered man.

The bowl of water was disgusting by the time Clint had finished, but the man smelled mostly better now. Clint grabbed the first sweatpants from the chair and changed into them, being sure to keep his dirty clothes away from the pile of the assassins clothes, those were going to be burned, dear god. He picked up the t-shirt from the chair meant for the other guy, goddamn it Kate. It was one of his favorite shirts, this was most likely payback for stealing her room.

Clint fought with the unconscious man, pulling limbs about trying to get the clothes on him. When he finished he stood back to admire his work. He could forgive Kate for giving him this shirt, in fact, this was definitely his favorite shirt now, the way it stretched across the mans chest and around his biceps. It was sinful how good it looked.   
Now for the finishing touch, Clint walked to his rucksack and grabbed a pair of Hulk-Cuffs that Tony had given all of the avengers. The Hulk-cuffs were handcuffs made to grow as the persons wrists grew, but strong enough to not get torn apart. Bruce insisted that everyone carry them at all times. He placed the mans hands in the cuffs and and wrapped the cuffs around the bed post.   
"Congrats Barton," He said to himself, "You really know how to clean em up."  
Clint cleaned himself up, and hauled the recliner from the living room up the steps and into the bedroom. He was ready for sleep. He pulled Kate's blanket over the soldier, and grabbed a spare from her closet for himself. He grabbed the gun from his suit jacket and put it on the floor next to his bow. He flicked off the lights and turned up his hearing aids, time for some shut eye.


	6. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's point of view again. He's kind of awake? Not exactly though

A familiar song slowly pressed in around Bucky. His world was a dark fog, no up, no down, just, here. Here with the music. He felt safe, warm and Content? He wasn't exactly sure, he hasn't felt much of anything besides the aching cold of HYDRA in his mind for a long time. He let the music caress him and pull him from the dark slow and warm. His world began to form, beneath him was something, a floor? no, a bed. He could feel the blankets, soft, like flower petals beneath him. Wherever he was smelled of flowers, Lilacs. His eyes felt heavy, but the rest of his body felt as if it were being pulled down by a thousand anchors. He gingerly opened his eyes as much as he could. 

The room was filled with a soft white light, the walls were spinning slightly, but an angel sat beside his body, running a soft cloth over his chest. His body felt warm as he looked at this angel. So he was dead then, figures as much, you can only wish for something like that for so long before it finally happened. But if this is eternity, he could get used to the view. The walls were melting and he could see the music the angel was humming. Colors flowed around the room and evaporated with each verse. He was gorgeous, his blond hair ruffled and out of place, and cheeks pink. Scarred hands ran over his body and he felt a tingle left behind where the angels had touched him. Bucky let his eyes slip closed again. The weight of them was too much, but he felt comforted by it. The time to rest was finally here, and all of his worries about his past life slipped away as he drifted back to sleep.


	7. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky flips the fuck out. Idk trigger warning ptsd?

Bucky woke, the fog was gone. He cautiously tested his legs, and moved to his arms. He could move them, but something was holding them in a tight grip. Shit. he pulled his hands a bit harder, Handcuffs. Bucky felt the room spinning, he wasn't fully awake yet, but he went into panic mode. He pulled his wrists down hard, attempting to pull himself free from the grips. No, they couldn't have him back. He finally got what he wanted and now he was back in HYDRA's grasp. this couldn't be happening. He pulled down hard, hearing the metal scraping on metal, and feeling the cuffs bite into the soft flesh. The room around him was pitch black,but he knew where he was, he could hear the beeping of machines, and the doctors calling orders around him. The foggy voices whispers all around him. They were going to wipe him again. He couldn't let that happen, he needed to remember the angel, he had to. Thought of the chair sent shots of electricity rocketing through his body and humming through his brain. He was writhing, pulling against the cuffs like a caged animal, a small cry escaped his mouth as a hand pressed against his shoulder. "No, no, no, no." His jaw was clenched as he screeched the words. His eyes stung with tears, and his face was hot with desperation. A voice closer than the others spoke as the hand gripped tighter on his shoulder.

"Hey, You're alright."

  
Bucky brought up his leg and felt his foot collide harshly with a with something solid. He heard a grunt of pain and footsteps stumble away from him. He pulled in a ragged breath, his chest was tight, and his lungs felt ready to burst.

"Take these handcuffs off of me." He demanded in a hoarse snarl. He felt the blood trickle down his arm and the tears roll down his cheeks. If he kept pulling like this he could get at least his flesh hand out. If that means he loses a thumb, so be it.

  
His eyes reflexively clamped shut as the brightness filled the room. He continued pulling his wrist, feeling the hot blood reaching down past his elbow and to his shoulder.  
"Hey," the voice was soft, "You gotta listen to me man, you're alright." He felt thighs straddling his chest and hands pressed against either side of his head. They're going to gouge out his eyes. He bucked beneath the body, trying to dislodge it.

"James. Listen. Open your eyes and look at me, come on." James? Hydra never used his name. They called him 'It' or 'the creature'. He stopped moving, and opened his eyes hesitantly. A face was close to his and fingers were gently rubbing at his cheeks. He was looking into the eyes of the angel, blood dripped from the beautiful man's brow, but his eyes remained gentle and forgiving.

  
"Please help me." He heard his own voice cracked with tears. The angel brushed a hand through his hair, "You're going to be okay. Nothing is going to happen to you. You're safe here."

  
"You can't let them take me, you can't. Please." He was desperate, he looked up to where his hands were stuck, everything was red and splattered with blood. He pulled harder against the metal cutting deeper into his wrist.   
"Hey James, I need you to promise me something, and then I can take your handcuffs off. I need you to promise not to kill me, and not to run away. Got it?"  
Bucky nodded. Kill his angel? He wouldn't. He needed him, he was here for him, he was going to save him.   
"Kate!" After a moment another person ran into the room. Definitely Hydra this time. Bucky wrenched himself around the bed, wishing he could hide, wishing for anything but the chair.

  
"It's alright," The soft voice came again, "She's with me, this is Kate." Bucky turned his head the scared woman who stood in the door.

  
"He's having a panic attack, I'm pretty sure it's because of the cuffs. I'm going to take them of of him, but I need you to make sure he doesn't kill me or anything like that." The blond leaned forward and Bucky felt the cuffs come off. He pulled his wrists to his chest and curled in on himself, he let the tears roll down his face and onto the bloody blanket. The legs that straddled him were gone and instead he felt a dip in the mattress behind him where the angel sat. He lay for a few minutes, trying to make sense of things as a soft hand rubbed against his back.

  
"Kate, can you grab the first aid kit?" Bucky looked down at his wrist, blood still trickled out at a steady pace leaving a small puddle of blood on the mattress. The bleeding would stop within an hour and the wound would be healed in a day or so, but he was getting blood everywhere, and they most likely didn't want that. The question burning on his mind was too hard to hold any longer.

 

"Where am I?" His voice was a whisper. He kept his gaze fixed on his wrist.  
"My house, er, my apartment." Bucky moved his head bringing the blond into view.

"I'm not dead then?"

The man gave a chuckle, "I ask myself that more than I would like to admit, but no." Why would he ask himself that?

"So, how are you an angel then?" his confusion was overwhelming.

  
The blond looked at Bucky carefully, "I'm not an angel." He shook his head and smirked before looking down at his own hands, "I'm just plain ol' Clint Barton."

  
Bucky remembered seeing a file about him in the HYDRA base. Hawkeye. The thought of Hydra sent an electric pulse up his spine and his entire body shook with it. Clint looked down at him, sympathy in his eyes, "We've got you, Kate and I are going to keep you safe." Clint's hand rested on his shoulder and his thumb made lazy circles against his skin.  
"In a few days I'll call up Steve, and he can he-" Bucky's heart was in his throat and he sat straight up and grabbed Clint's wrist. "No," He pleaded, "He can't see me like this, I cant," his words broke off as tears filled his eyes once more. Steve couldn't see him like this, so broken. He needed to fix himself, to be himself again. The look on Steve's face when he saw the Winter soldier was burned into his memory, the look of horror at Bucky. His stomach twisted and a sob left his throat.

  
"Okay, That's fine too." Clint's voice soft as he brushed Bucky's hair from his face. "I understand." A soft smile flirted over his lips as he touched Bucky's hand.

  
Bucky shifted his gaze to the door as the black haired girl returned with a white box in her hands. She reluctantly stepped into the room.

"Is he okay?" Her voice was quiet and her eyes never left Bucky.

  
"I mean I think he just hurt his wrist but i dunno." Clint shrugged.

  
"I meant okay for us, like safe." She looked to Clint concert drawn across her brow.

  
Bucky frowned. He only hurt people he was assigned to hurt, he wasnt a killing machine. Bucky looked to Clint whose eyes were already on him, expression fixed in a half smile, "He's alright, he just seems a bit scared, but that's understandable."

He looked back to Kate who nodded and stepped farther into the room, "Did you need help with this?"

  
Clint took the kit from Kate, "Thank you, and yes, could you possibly clean up the blood?" He gave her a charming smile.

She smiled back and rolled her eyes, "I'll do this while you get him cleaned up again."

  
Clint looked to Bucky, "Are you alright with leaving this room and getting your arms cleaned up in the bathroom?"

Bucky didn't want to go out of the room, but he nodded anyway. Clint took both of Bucky's hands, and helped him off of the bed.

"Alright James, I promise you nothing out there is any different from in here."

  
"You, erm, you can call me Bucky." Bucky saw a smile grow on Clint's face.

"Alright Bucky." He said, happiness flowing from him.

  
The bathroom was HYDRA free thankfully. He let out a sigh of relief as he sat down on the closed toilet lid.

"Does this hurt?" Clint asked as he dabbed at the wound with a wet cloth.

  
"No." Bucky said, but in truth it did sting slightly.

"Good. I have to put some cleaning stuff on it and bandage it up and we can go back into the room." Clint worked on his arm as Bucky stared at him, awestruck by the kindness coming from this man. Bucky was sure he actually was an angel, nobody is this nice.

  
"Um," Bucky began, searching for the right words, "Thank you. For being so nice."

Clint looked up at him, "You don't have to thank me, I'm just doing what anyone else would do."

That wasn't true, When Bucky was usually hurt, nobody was there to fix him. He was required to fix it himself and the scars on his body showed how terrible he was at that.

"All done." Clint said setting Bucky's hand down onto his leg. "You ready to go back to sleep?"

  
"Sleep?" Bucky's neck twitched and his shoulders hunched at the thought. His skin felt like it was searing as the memories of dreams came flooding in. The chair, the chamber, the knives.

  
"Okay, it's no big deal." Clint said, shrugging his shoulders, "What do you want to do instead?"

  
Bucky thought for a moment, "I, I want to..." He looked down at the bandage on his arm and picked at a stray cotton strand.

Clint took Bucky's hand, "Hey, don't do that okay? Let's just go back to the room, and we can talk about whatever you want." Bucky liked that, he gave a small nod and got up from the seat in one slow movement.

 


	8. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint does some talky talks and Bucky does some listening. Back to Clint's point of view. ~Oh shit, shower scene.

Clint's heart was pounding out of his chest. Natasha must have hated him when he was like this after the Loki fiasco. 

Bucky sat, back pressed into the corner of the bed facing Clint as if he were in danger. Clint watched him from his recliner across the small room. Kate had done a good job of cleaning the blood, there were new sheets on the bed and the blood splatters on the wall had been wiped away completely. 

Clint opened his mouth, ready so break the silence but before any sound escaped Bucky asked a question.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Clint sat confused for a moment, has nobody been nice to him before? Natasha had told him about the red room, and even they were kind at times.

"I'm pretty sure i'm one of the only people whose gone through something similar to you. I know how terrible it is, and how awful it feels afterwords." Clint thought for a moment of the people that have been killed by his hands and he felt the bile rising in his throat. He swallowed hard and looked down at his hands. when he looked back up to Bucky, he looked more relaxed. 

"What happened?" Bucky's words sent a buzz through his mind, he knew Bucky would ask. He swallowed hard, Clint hadn't told anyone the story, most people already knew what had happened thanks to the news. Bucky however, never learned the story. 

"well, um..." Clint cleared his throat and ran a shaky hand through his hair. With a nervous chuckle, Clint realized just how hard this was going to be.Clint began his story, eyes burning with tears, and when he was nearly finished tears rolled down his hot red cheeks. During Clint's story, Bucky had laid down in the bed and covered himself with the blanket to get more comfortable.

"You would think that such a large agency would have better medical staff on hand to help people deal with the aftermath of events like this." He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and spoke again, voice cracking slightly, "I don't know where I would be without Natasha. She's truly the glue that held me together." Clint gave a half-hearted smile to Bucky, "So, you trust me yet?"

Bucky shrugged, "You seem like you're telling the truth." His eyes were half closed and the dark circles under his eyes told Clint the story of many sleepless nights.

"I can keep watch for you so you can catch up on a couple hours of sleep. Bucky looked at Clint, hesitation in his furrowed brow, but he nodded anyway and gave a soft "Thank you." before pulling the covers over his head.   
Clint smiled, "No problem." He said moving the recliner to in front of the door and set up his vigil for the rest of the night.

Over the next few days Bucky became less and less anxious, eventually venturing out into other rooms in the house. However when night hit, it was a completely different story. Every night Clint was jolted from his vigil by the screams through clenched teeth. Tonight, like each night before he gently pressed a hand to Bucky's arm and whispered soft comforts to him.   
Bucky woke with a start and Clint brushed the hair out of his face, "You're alright, I've got you."   
His voice was soft as he grabbed Bucky's hand and pet the back of it. He sat down next to the bed and continued his gentle motion, but Bucky wasn't calming down like usual. His crying was tearing a hole in Clint's soul with every sob.  
"Do you mind if I try something?" Bucky looked up to meet Clint's gaze and murmured "th-that's fine."   
Clint ran his hands through Bucky's hair and whispered, "I need you to lift up your head for a minute."   
Clint shimmied his way into the bed sitting cross legged on the bed, "Alright, set your head back down now."  
Natasha used to do this for him on his particularly hard nights and it helped a lot, plus, he didn't mind the idea of having a trained assassin curled up and vulnerable in his lap. He took one of Bucky's hands and ran his other hand through his hair and over his cheek.   
"How's this?" he asked Bucky looking down at the deadly man in his lap.  
"This... This is nice. Thank you." Bucky pushed himself further into his lap, still sniffling. Clint smiled to himself, even though this was awful for Bucky, and the sleeplessness of it all was a drag, he wouldn't mind if this was something that happened every night.

 

For the next week, it did. Every night was the same, About two hours after Bucky would fall asleep Clint would have to gently prod him from his fits of hysteria and pull him into his lap until the sobbing died down.   
Clint sat, stroking the assassin as if he were a cat and humming reassurances.   
"Can you sit up for a minute?" Bucky slowly made his way up and Clint, stomach fluttering, pulled him into a hug, "I promise I'm always here for you, you don't have to worry about anything when i'm here alright?"   
Clint felt tears well in his eyes and pulled Bucky into a tighter embrace.  
"Alright." Bucky's voice was quiet, barely even a whisper. His head was pressed into Clint's shoulder and he could feel the tears seeping through his shirt, but he didn't mind, it was his job to be here for him, getting a little wet was no big deal. 

Clint woke in the morning, Bucky still leaning on Clint's shoulder asleep. Hot breath caressing Clint's neck that sent heat down into his already hard morning wood. Fuck. Normally Clint would calm Bucky down and move back into the recliner before morning came around, but they both slept through the rest of the night together. There was no way Clint could sneak out of this situation unscathed, Bucky was asleep, head on his shoulder and straddling his lap. Clint's bulge was pressed against Bucky's leg and when Clint looked down he could see an impressive bulge in Bucky's sweatpants as well. Double fuck. Clint's dick gives a sympathetic throb as he imagined Bucky rubbing against him. He had to bite his lip to hold back a moan. He breathed hard through his nose and clenched his fists, Bucky moved slightly and pressed his body deeper against Clint. Clint pulled in a sharp breath, this was torture, he needed to do something.   
He moved a hand up to Bucky's cheek and said in a voice full of sleep, "I'm sorry I gotta wake you up, but I- uh." Bucky just let out a groan of tiredness and wrapped his arms around Clint and pulled himself tighter. Okay, this was fucking adorable, but definitely not helping his downstairs situation. He set his hands on Bucky's thighs and turned his head to the shoulder Bucky was leaning on.   
"Sleeping beauty, you gotta get up before I-" Clint stopped before finishing the sentence. 'Before I run my mouth over your entire body.' Clint shuttered with the thought.   
"I'm gonna go make breakfast." Clint's head was turned just enough to feel the heat of Bucky's cheek against his. Bucky sat up sleepily, rubbing his eyes.   
"What are you gonna make?" He said through a yawn before looking down at the tent in his pants. "I- uh. I'm sorry." Bucky pulled himself off of Clint in a rushed movement.  
"No, Don't be sorry, It's no big deal." Bucky's gaze moved over Clint's erection before looking away, cheeks turning a bright red.   
Clint got out of bed, "I'm gonna go take a shower and then i'm going to make breakfast. sound good?" Bucky nodded. Embarrassment filled Clint as he walked down the hall to the bathroom.

The water ran hot over Clint's body as he thought about Bucky. About the way he blushed. About how much he trusted Clint. He pressed his forehead against the cool shower wall and ran his hand over the tip of his hard cock. Was it wrong to feel this way about someone he's taking care of? Probably. Did he care? Fuck no. Clint poured a small bit of body wash in his hand and stroked himself in long rough pulls. He thought of what Bucky's mouth would be like against his, hot and slick. He would push his hands into his hair and pull him close and kiss him everywhere. Every scar, every freckle, every finger. Clint was so close, his stomach was tightening and his hand was moving at an unsteady pace hips bucking. He imagined what Bucky's moan would sound like, what he would sound like calling out Clint's name as he finished. Clint moaned loudly as he came over his hand and onto the wall of the shower, pulses of pleasure rolling over his entire body. His caught his breath as he finished his shower, thought of Bucky still filling his head. That man would be the death of him. 

 

"What kind of pancakes would you like? we have chocolate chips or blueberries." Clint asked poking his head out of the kitchen and beaming a smile at Bucky.  
"Chocolate chip please." Bucky said with a small warm smile.   
Clint's stomach fluttered, "Good." Clint grabbed two plates down and filled them with chocolate chip pancakes. He walked out into the living room handing one plate to Bucky and sitting down on the couch next to him. Bucky immediately moved in closer to Clint, pressing their bodies together from shoulder down to knee. A tingle went through Clint, he wanted this man to be his, and only his.  
"Clint?" Bucky's voice was hesitant.   
"What's up?" Clint asked with concern.   
"I'm sorry i'm so fucked up." Clint's heart lurched as he set down his plate and turned to look at Bucky. He sat, shoulders hunched and gaze fixed on his hands as he fiddled with his nails.

"Hey, you aren't. You might think so, but I don't." He put his hand on the side of Bucky's face and guided his gaze up to meet his, "To me, you are someone really strong who has gone through a lot of terrible shit, and you're taking it better than anyone ever could. Because you're a fighter."   
Bucky gazed at him, happiness bright in his eyes. "Thank you."   
The corner of Bucky's mouth rose into a small smile as his eyes drifted down to Clint's mouth and then back to Clint's eyes. Clint felt his face growing hot as he looked into Bucky's growing pupils. He moved in closer closing the space between them until their noses brushed. Clint brought his other hand up and put his hands on the back of Bucky's neck and pushing his hands into his thick hair. He felt Bucky's warm hand on the back of his own neck and felt the pull of Bucky pulling him closer. Clint's heart was pounding and the blood was rushing in his ears. His let his eyes slide shut as he felt Bucky's breath hot on his lips.

A loud pounding knock on the front door made them jump apart, Clint looked at Bucky who was completely flustered and sporting messy hair from Clint's hands. He smiled, so close he thought, once he got rid of whoever was at the door he was going to get that kiss. He stood and walked over to the door and looked out the peek hole. A tall blond man stood awkwardly in the hall shuffling his feet. Shit. "It's Steve." Clint said and Bucky bolted up the stairs taking half the staircase at once.


	9. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goddamn it Steve you fucking cock-block

Steve stepped inside, "We aren't doing too great without you Clint. We think we may have found where they're keeping Loki's scepter, but we can't be sure. Natasha said she thinks you would be a good help. what do you say?"   
Clint wasn't sure. If the team needed him, then he should definitely go, but Bucky needed him as well.   
"Alright." He said at last, "I can meet everyone once i get packed up here. Where should I meet you guys?"   
Steve looked him up and down, could he see Clint's apprehension? "The avengers tower."   
He gave Steve a quick nod, "Why didn't you just call?" Clint tried not to sound too salty.  
"I was in the neighborhood and I just thought I'd stop by, it's- ya know. easier for me than calling." Steve gave a shy smile.   
"Alright. I'll see you at the tower soon. thank you for letting me know what's going on." Steve gave a mock salute and left. Goddamn it Steve. Americas biggest cock block.

 

"I know Kate." Clint said shoving the last few shirts into his duffel bag, "But you know everything I do now, I know you can do it. He likes you too!" Clint said in exasperation.  
"I know he likes me, but he sure as shit likes you more." She sighed, "I can do it, but you better get back here as soon as you can."   
He pulled her into a hug, "You are a life saver Kate."   
"You better let him know what's going on."   
The thought of leaving Bucky here without him was heart wrenching.   
"I have to leave." Bucky's eyes grew wide and Clint backtracked, "No, it's alright, I'll be back really soon. I have to go help with the Avengers. Apparently they need the ol' archer after all." His smile was sad as he pulled Bucky into a tight hug and Bucky hugged him back.   
"Promise you wont get hurt." Bucky's voice was muffled by Clint's shirt.   
"I promise I wont die." It wasn't really something he could promise, but he could try his damnedest to make it home safe to his Bucky.  
His voice cracked, "Kate is going to help you till I get back, it shouldn't take too long. We just have to find Loki's scepter and bring it to the tower."   
He pressed his cheek to the top of Bucky's head and whispered, "I have to go now. I'll be back soon." He pulled Bucky's arms away from him and turned to leave, glancing behind him as he walked through the door. Bucky's eyes were big and filled with tears. Clint's heart snapped in half.   
"I'm sorry." He said, and walked out the door. 

 

Clint looked around the small room of the tower.  
"Yes Kate, I got shot. But i'm fine."  
"You know Bucky's been worried sick about you. He hasn't come downstairs since you left. Also he keeps sitting on the top of the stairs and staring at the couch. What the fuck happened on the couch?"  
"I have no idea," He lied through his teeth, "Make sure Bucky knows I'm alright. It's going to be even longer than we thought, some serious shit's going down Kate, and I don't know how it's all going to work out."  
"Alright," Her voice was somber, "I'll let him know, He's watching me like a hawk by the way."  
"Yeah, I told him to watch you too."  
"Come home safe okay? Bucky needs you."  
"Yes Ma'am." Steve stepped around the corner of the corridor, "We got something." Steve said giving Clint an odd look.   
"I gotta go." Clint said into the phone and after Kate's goodbye he hung up and began to walk towards Steve.  
"Who was that?" That was none of Steve's business.  
"Girlfriend." Fuck. He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. He had just told everyone a few days ago that he didn't have a girlfriend. Way to paint yourself into a corner jack ass.


	10. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint returns home safe and sound after the events of Age of Ultron. However, Clint is trapped in a case of emotion. (Jealousy. it's jealousy.) Also some sex happens.

Clint's debriefing went well, or as well as a debriefing about killer robots and a new comrade falling could be.   
He turned the key to his apartment and walked into the dark living room. The clock on his cable box read 2:14 AM. Fuck, he was dead on his feet, bruises from head to toe and scratches over his entire body. He needed a long bath, but first, he needed to see Bucky. The entire mission he thought of Bucky and how what he was doing was going to get him home sooner to see him. He walked light footed up the stairs and opened the door to Bucky's room. The sight made his stomach drop. Bucky was laying in bed arm draped over Kate in a spooning position. He let out a sigh, if this is what Bucky wanted then this is what he wanted. Clint walked dragging his feet to his own bed and threw himself, fully clothed onto the bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

He woke up with a start 4 hours later to Bucky excitedly whispering his name. He opened his eyes to Bucky's face only inches from his.  
"Good morning." Bucky said, "I made breakfast for you. Kate showed me how."   
Clint looked over at the side table to see some pancakes, slightly blackened on one side, and some bacon on a plate.   
He smiled up at Bucky, "Thank you." He said and sat up to eat his food happily.   
"I have to go take a shower, I'll be out in a minute and we can talk about everything that happened."   
"Okay." Bucky said and headed downstairs. 

Clint got in the shower and let the water heat his skin, couldn't he just like someone who liked him back? was it so fucking hard to do? He shook his head trying to clear the thought. Stop being an idiot Clint, Kate and Bucky have a right to like each other if they want. You were gone, and Bucky only had Kate to lean on, and vice versa. It didn't stop him from feeling pained though, and he let himself cry. It was his shower, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted. He was crying for everything at once, for Bucky, for Pietro, for his past, for his future, for everything from his past mission, and everything from his mission before that. He cried until he couldn't cry anymore, and when he was ready he put on a stone mask and went to talk to his two friends down in the living room. 

 

"No, He missed you. You are going in there and keeping watch for him. I'm going to bed." Kate turned and walked into Clint's room closing the door once Lucky was in behind her. weird, she didn't want to sleep with Bucky again? Whatever. His recliner was still in the room, thankfully. he didnt want to lug it up the steps again. he pulled it to the door and sat down to begin his vigil.   
"What are you doing?" Bucky asked, his voice sounding sad. Clint looked towards the shadow on the bed.   
Confused he replied, "Keeping watch?"   
"Oh." Bucky sounded even more sad. Goddamn it, what did he do wrong.   
"What do you want me to do?" he asked in a soft voice.  
"Kate let me hold her, and it helped me have less nightmares. Could you- uh." Clint's stomach was in a knot and his face was flushed. How could he be so stupid, Kate was just doing what she had to to help him. Clint was at the bed in an instant.   
"Yes, whatever you need Bucky, yes." Clint could feel how goofy his smile was and was glad that the room was dark.   
"Do you want to hold me, or do you want me to hold you?" he asked as he sat down onto the bed.  
"Um, could you hold me?" Clint's heart was pounding out of his chest and his throat was tight, "Yes, I can." He crawled into the bed and scooted in behind Bucky and pulling him tight against his chest. 

He leaned in, breathing in the smell of Bucky, "I missed you so much." He admitted.   
Bucky pressed himself deeper into Clint's embrace and whispered, "I missed you too."  
"I couldn't stop thinking about how much I wanted to come home to hold you like this." Bucky rolled over to face him. Clint moved his hand up to brush it over Bucky's cheek. He mean so much to Clint, he rubbed a thumb over the corner of Bucky's mouth. Clint felt Bucky's hand settle on his lower back, and moved in to press himself closer to Bucky. Clint was warm all over, skin tingling where Bucky's body touched his and his thumb was brushing what he wanted more than anything, Bucky's mouth. Clint leaned in, Bucky's hand moved from his back and up to his neck pulling him in desperately. Clint pushed his hand into Bucky's hair, feeling the softness of it and pulled Bucky in. Their lips met, hot and hard. Clint's heart was beating harder now as Bucky took Clint's lower lip into his mouth and nipped at it affectionately. Clint groaned and pulled Bucky back from his mouth and forced his head back to get a better angle at his throat. He leaned in kissing Bucky from is jawline, down to his collar bone.   
"I've wanted to touch you like this for a while now." He said between kisses, and punctuation it with a nip at the base of his neck. Bucky let out a surprised, but pleased moan of approval. He ran his hands over Bucky's chest and down his sides as Bucky's hands explored his body as well.   
"If I'm moving too fast for you, tell me alright?"  
Bucky let out a hum of satisfaction, "I think I'm pretty okay with anything you want."   
Bucky's hand moved from his sides, to between Clint's legs. Clint let out a groan of approval. "You sure?" he asked, kissing his cheek and pushing one hand through his hair.  
"Yes, I want you Clint." his voice sounded ragged and Clint pulled him into another hard kiss. He pressed his tongue into Bucky's mouth and moved his hand down between them pressing a hand to the front of Bucky's sweatpants. He was rock hard. Clint let out a loud moan against Bucky's mouth, before breaking the kiss.   
"I'm stripping, and you should too. I want to kiss you everywhere."   
Clint took his clothes off as fast as he could and Bucky did the same. He pinned Bucky to the bed and pressed a hard kiss on his mouth and moved down his body, starting with his jaw, down his chest, over both arms, his stomach, and finally stopping exactly where he wanted to be. He ran his hand up the length of him, feeling the drop of precum wet at the tip. A shutter went down his spine and heat flooded his body, his dick twitching impatiently. He pressed a kiss to the base of Bucky's erection and heard his breath catch before hands were in his hair. "You alright?" he asked breathing heavy into Bucky's cock. Bucky moaned deep in his throat, "Clint, I want you so bad." Clint took that as a yes and wrapped his lips around his head, tasting the precum and sucking hard, pulling a gasp from Bucky's lips. Clint wrapped one hand around the base of Bucky's cock, and the other around his own, bobbing his head in time with both hands.   
"Wait" Bucky's voice halted him. Bucky pushed his mouth away and pulled him up to meet his own, "Too close." Clint relaxed a bit, but pressed his erection against Bucky's stomach as he pushed against Bucky's mouth for another long hard kiss. Bucky's hand moved between them and wrapped around both of their swollen cocks. Clint hissed in pleasure at the friction of hand and dick against his own. The rhythm of Bucky's hand sped up as their mouths moved over each other. Nipping and biting at every inch of each other. Bucky pressed his face into Clint's shoulder, hand moving rapidly over both of them. Clint felt himself getting close. Bucky groaned and his hand sputtered, "Clint." his voice was breathy and pulled deep inside Clint. Bucky shot over his chest, dick throbbing against Clint's as he came. 

Teeth dug into Clint's shoulder as Bucky shuttered beneath him, and after a moment Bucky's hand moved to just Clint with ease. His skin a rough pull against his. The teeth in his shoulder were replaced with soft kisses as a hand moved over his cock.   
"Bucky, I-" He sucked in a sharp breath. His body was tightening and his hips thrust forward in uneven jagged movements before he spilled himself over Bucky's chest. He collapsed on top of Bucky, running a hand over his cheek.   
"You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading all of it! I was thinking about continuing on all the way until the end of Civil War. If that's something you guys would like, definitely let me know! Thank you again for reading this!


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